Turning the Light on

Do ever feel like no matter what happens to you, everything will be okay? Like no matter the trial or tragedy, you'll come out on top. Lately I've felt like I'm on top of the world and I can't figure out what, why, or when it happened. I didn't get a raise at work, I still don't have a car, my legs have been hurting for the past two weeks because I've been running in the oldest, hole-iest shoes a person should not be running in, and I still don't know what I want to do when I graduate in December. I think it might have something to do with the Big Guy up there, but I haven't been praying like I should so I'm curious where these feelings of happiness and joy are coming from? All I know is I don't want this to go away, I just want to share it with others. I want to be like the people I look up to who you can just see the light of Christ in them. Like my Aunt Jan. She glows, and the people around her glow just because they are near her. You can't not smile or feel at home when you're around Aunt Jan. I think that's cool. I don't know how she does it, but I would like to share something like that with people.

Oh, to be Jewish Again

I've almost finished "You are SO not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah!" by Fiona Rosenbloom and, I must say, it nearly almost completely reminds me of myself growing up (minus the split parents, private school, and that tiny detail of not being Jewish). I feel for Stacey Friedman though because I once knew an Andy Goldfarb, only his name was Ben Veross. All the same, I fell for him hard. I had been to a few bat mitzvahs, but never actually had my own. I think I even knew of a kid who had one but he wasn't even Jewish. I did, however, have a massive 14th b-day bash in which I invited about 2 dozen girls and it was pretty fun. When I look back at the pictures, I can't believe how awkward-looking we all were. Anyway, from that party I learned that one of my good friends (I'll spare the embarrassment of exposing her name) hooked up with Ben (though when I say "hooked up", in the eighth grade that means barely past holding hands)- yes I was devestated. The real reason for this post comes from a passage in the middle of the book in which I inevitably agree with. The Rabbi is trying to give Stacey advice with her broken heart and drama-filled life: "I think that the only way a person can be happy is to want happiness for others. That's called righteousness. The path toward righteousness begins with acts of loving kindness. When a person performs acts of loving kindness, they do so munificently without expecting any recompense. The actions become the reward. With each deed he is fomenting a connection with God." (p 76) I love the idea that true happiness comes from serving others and wanting others to be happy. I think when we really love someone, all we really want is for that person to be the happiest they can be. Whether that is a boyfriend you have to let go because you know he will be happy somewhere else, or a sibling you go fly out to see because she had a bad week, or an "I LOVE YOU" sticky note secretly placed inside your mom's desk drawer just to make sure she doesn't forget. It really is easy to make others happy, you don't have to search so far all the time. You just try sometimes.