Monday, December 29, 2008

Love's Possibilities and the Possibility of Love

I've been kind of down on love lately and I think it's because people (including me) do a lot of dumb things when they are in love.  We become new people and we do or say things that we would never when we are a single, normal, unit.  Over the past 7 months there have probably been three to four dozen things I wish I could take back.  In fact, there are probably three dozen things per month I wish I could take back!

But, I can't.  And that is the weird, twisted magic of love.  When I look back, I have no idea how I got here but I know I want to get as far away from here as possible.  Never to fall in love again, because I rather like having my mind where it is sound and my emotions where I can control them.  The funny thing is, love is so fun in the beginning.  It's new, it's fresh, it's full of possibilities.  Then somewhere along the way you get to point B, you have no idea how you got there, and you don't have any solution as how to get out.

Then love is not fun.  Love is work.  And for that unknown amount of time, love is hard work.  Who would have ever thought in a million years that love is work?!  I mean, come on!  Love should be natural, fancy-free, right?  No.  Not at all.  Because somewhere along the way, no matter what kind of love you have, if you want to keep it, you have to fight for it and work hard at it.  [And, if the other party in this love tango does not want to work hard at it anymore, enter dumb comments and doing dumb things...]

And so I'm stuck at point B, have no idea what or how to get to point C, and I'm seriously questioning, if at all, where it all ends?  I'm no expert on love, sometimes I wish I was, but then my love life would be completely artificial.  If there's one thing I love about love, it's not knowing, the spontaneity and the random interactions and connections couples make.  The path from there can go anywhere, and that is exciting.

Love is a mystery; in its unpredictable nature, all we can do is fall and hold on for dear life.


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