Sunday, January 4, 2009

Smile, Cuz' at Least We Have Today.

January 4th, 2009. I started off this year with a lot of hope; I was so excited to see what this year would bring. Right now, I'm finding a little stress, a lot more anxiety than silly exams could ever bring, and a loss of words for how a certain situation unfolded. I can't say much about the situation, or the person, but I can keep my own confidentiallity, well...not confidential at all. I'm the most broken I've ever been. And, it couldn't be more hilarious. I can't wait for the sun to shine a little brighter, for the temperature to warm up, and to find some new love this year. I don't know if it will be a new love for myself? For someone else? Or for something? I've been thinking I'd love to try new extreme activities like skydiving, surfing, swimming with sharks, heli-snowboarding, going to a movie by myself...maybe not this last one.

I heard of a talk given in church in which the speaker was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up. His reply was simply, "I want to be happy when I grow up." I've decided I want to be happy when I grow up, which means I have to start practicing now! A good friend of mine recently gave me a book for Chritstmas, "What Happy People Know". At first, I thought, gosh, does she think I'm really depressed? Has it really shown? But then I thought, wow. This friend really knows me and really cares about me. She has read her book (I think she said) 14 times. I'm only through the first chapter, but I'm excited to read more.

All in all, I think happy people pretty much know that no one can make you happy but yourself. I would like to make other people happy. Hell! I would like other people to make me happy! But, we can only control ourselves, our reactions, and only we can make up our minds. Someone once said, "You are as happy as you make up your mind to be." Yeah, pretty true.

1 comment:

kay.tee. said...

Okay so I guess you haven't gotten to the chapter where he bashes that last quote.. Ha ha, I still think you will like it. That book is my VERY favorite, and is always reminding me that it is natural for us to feel fear but we can still overcome it. Happiness truly is a journey, not a destination.

When I was in young womens one of my leaders brought me over a candle. It was Christmastime so it had a wreath and said "JOY" on it. She knew I was having a hard time (but really, had no clue how hard of a time) and taught me something I will never forget. She told me that that the only way to have Joy is

Jesus first
Others second
Yourself last

I still think of that often and am learning more and more everyday how right she was.

You are AMAZING. Don't let anyone else make you think otherwise.

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